Thursday, October 16, 2008
I have realized I am a romantic at heart. Not the happily ever after kind. No I want the adventure and mystery and yes the passion. I want to have lived in another time or in another universe. I want to be one of the characters in my books. I want to see all there is to see. I want to experience everything. I want to live life at the speed of light. I want to go and do and explore. I am trapped in a mundane world that holds no real appeal. I keep wondering what I am going to do with my life because nothing holds my interest for long. The only thing that keeps me grounded is the Hellion. I have a need for something but I don't know what it is. I know there is more for me, more to me than what I am doing now. I don't want to be rich or famous, I just want to have lived and never missed a moment. I wish I knew where to go with everything inside me. I wish I knew how to let it out. I want to be someone else. There are times I want to just pack a bag with my stuff and the hellions and just go, anywhere but here. I love my family but I don't feel I belong here, I never have. I just haven't been able to express it before.